i am 41 years old and cannot forget the love of my life from over 20 years ago. i am married with two kids, i love them lots, but in the back of my mind i cant help but want this man, with all my being. he is going through alot right now, with a divorce, it's nasty. i want him to call me,but he won't, i want him to want me, but he doesnt. how do i forget. i saw him 2 years ago, after 18 years, and its' still the same for me. i talk to his mom sometime, and she always wishes we would have been together. i know i will always love him..
Comments
bigfan said:
being 40 and once divorced (now married to girl of my dreams, but f*ed that up and now changed myself 180 degrees, one tick past zero on the shot clock, i fear). wait, then wait some more. 6-12 months AFTER the divorce is final, then check in with yourself, and if you need to, him. do NOT assume anything he does, says, needs before then is real. wait -- you've waited long enough, another year or more is nothing.
venting101 said:
What's your current relationship lacking that you will not allow yourself to let go of the past? Are you the same person from 20 years ago? If so, you might consider taking a closer look at yourself. We all go through changes in life and to be in the same emotional space after all these years doesn't show growth--maybe your distraction from yourself is this man (illusion of love) as true love is "neither wanting or needing" -Eckhart Tolle
Take a step back. Good luck.
Shy said:
Focus on your current marriage and kids. Be happy with what you have now and quit looking back. 20 years ago, you were carefree and happy with no responsibilities... I have a feeling that's what you are really looking for. Don't ruin what you have now. Spice up your marriage, go on a vacation or a weekend get-away. Surprise your husband with something fun and exciting. I would bet he would love that from you and what a better way to keep him and yourself happy.
Be happy that you have a wonderful family, a loving husband and two kids.
Cheree830 said:
I experienced this too, but I have a child with the man BUT the point is....it's the past and I think we're more "in love" with what "couldve been"....and the man we use to know...not with the present man. I really don't know what to say to you because me giving you advice would make me a hypocrite.
vv said:
Hello
Benny Rotten said:
Don't be stupid. If he's fresh out of a divorce he's going to look for younger women that haven't had kids yet. You are going to have to wait for him to make it through that phase if you want a shot.
super17 said:
I loved this guy for a long time- it was an impossible situation. Soon I realized that I was using fantasies of him to help get me through hard times, as an escape. He didn't like being used. He didn't like me. In the meantime I got married, and the fantasies continued. Finally, after working for a year on my marriage, and getting my needs met, I don't need the fantasies of this man anymore. I'm not one hundred percent happy with my husband, but interacting with a real person is much more fulfilling than having a fantasy man.
Post new comment