answerJam

girlfriend cant seem to get ex ou of her mind. what do i do

Posted December 1st, 2011 by lost in love

so here is the deal.

I have been with my girlfriend for over 14 years and she still can't get over her ex.

I have known my girlfriend since we were kids and we were really good friends, enough to know that dating would have ruined things.
she was in a relationship with a person she considered marrying, but I think he wasn't interested (previously married, been there done that I think)
she approached me about her feelings while I was with someone. it wasn't going well were I was so I left her and we started stated dating

she moved in fairly fast due to knowing each other for so long, that was about 14 years ago.

I am some what of an entrepreneur and i went through a rough patch loosing a business about 10 years ago that put me in a bit of a financial snag for a few years of not generating any income. things were tough and i was the reason we were fighting alot. during that time her ex called and of course I was worried being down on my luck. she Said she wouldnt call back and i much as I didn't believe here we went on.

5 years later I find out she has been emailing him and chatting on the phone. I approach her and she said she met him as well and kissed also. ( probably more but who knows. she said she was confused and need to figure things out and that is why she reached out to to him and that the still can't get him out of her mind. she said it was a mistake and she loves me, it was tough but i tried to get passed it.

my luck changes and i get a great 6 figure job!
she says he email her and she has told him they have to stop talking

I look towards the future.

5 years go by and we have bought a house, are traveling, living fairly well but I felt her being distant since the beginig of the year when we were on a trip
she is expressing that her life is not how she thought it would be. she has a good job but hates it and so on. I wasn't sure if I was one of those thing that didn't work out. so I asked her....

she said that she can't get het ex out of her head, that there are these reminders and "signs" that keep bring him up in her head and that she is not sure if it is fair to me but she want to still be together . WHAT???

I am so lost, I know that me being unemployed for a while hurt us but I have worked so hard since then to provide the things she needs from love to finances

I guess I know that even when was down that that was know excuse for her to stray but I guess I sort took some resposibility

But now?

what do I do leave or stay?