How do I tell my wife I want a divorce

thecrusader's picture
Posted July 2nd, 2010 by thecrusader

im 21 im originally from detroit mi but i moved to phoenix az for opportunity and a new start my wife and i got marrried in feb 2010 and felt great but in the midst of that i had second thoughts but i assumed it was jitters and what not so i went on and did it. now it july- 5 months later and i want a divorce and its crazy because when we were just bf and gf it was cool but now things are settling down and the post-wedding adrenaline is wearing off and we are two completely ppl im kinda of a free spirit, chill, and i would like to do certain things like party and stay out all night. and she would rather not. Im young and i feel 35 and im just 21 and im a good husband i provide take care of home never cheated. but i find myself attracted to other women and i dont want to cheat on her but as time passes it gets harder i just want the free single life i dont want this commitment anymore. but its hard to let her know this cause she is all ive known for 4 years we've been to the bottom and came up together. and i would normally take the band-aid approach but she's my wife it aint that easy. someone help me

6 comment(s) so far

Answers

just be honest -- you jumped into this too soon, you can get annuled legally vs waiting to 1 year where it has to be full divorce with all legal issues amplified, and you need to grow up before you do stupid things inside or outside the marriage. you want to show her the respect of not kidding her about your readiness.

whoa! Sounds to me like you should just tell her every thing you just wrote down, asside from the divorce thing. Open some comunication channels, you didn't think marriage was gonna be swell all the time did you?! I mean you've got to work at it, and when your spouse isn't doing things that you deep down don't approve of, you should let them in on it. Just out of decent common curtesy! Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to settle down. And I don't know who in their right mind told you that women outside your marriage look completely unattractive as soon as you get married, but that will never happen. You will always see pretty ladies. You just gotta remember what you got married for. Which was hopefully not just the sex... There should be other things you are getting out of this marriage. On the other hand, you must contribute to the spark as well. Don't let it go out, at least keep an ember glowing, so when she's willing or able, you can reignite the romance. At the same time, it's tiring to do everything the same way, so find ways to spicen your marriage up. Don't put all that weight on her. However, if you've already tried all you can, and you are at your wit's last end, seek marraige counseling. notify your spouse that everything is not hunky-dorey, and that you are willing to give conseling a try before pulling the plug on what you have. If your spouse is against the counseling, or won't comply, or doesn't see the intensity of this well...

You can always serve her the files for divorce. If she signs them with out a word, then maybe your marriage from her stand point wasn't what it was cracked up to be in the first place. If she petetions, the both of you should reevaluated what is going on and try to work it out. That is what marriage truely is, and if you are able to work out problems while BF and GF, then you should be able to get by.

Good luck to you both.

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I'm in this same position, only I'm the wife. What did you end up doing

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