My senior year in high school, I got my girlfriend pregnant. That hit me out of no where. She found out days after we broke up because I was heading off to college. I had already signed a contract to play football in college so I had to go. Not to mention, I couldn't even tell my parents. So I went to school and secretly prepared how I would break the news so that I could do what I needed to do and take care of my daughter. 7 months into the pregnancy, my ex-girlfrind got t-boned by a drunk driver, putting her in a week-long coma and killing the baby. I was crushed. The life I had spent the last 7 months planning was gone in a phone call. It happened mid season and no one knew about here so I couldn't even go see her. As time passed after the accident, my ex and I continued to drift apart, both of us finding ourselves to blame for all of it. Since that day, I have had a lot of trouble getting to sleep at night and moving on to new, healthier relationships. I even moved 13 hours away from her but I still can never get over the fact that she was the mother of my daughter. I was so ready for her (as ready as any 18yr. old can be in that situation). I still dream about my daughter, wondering what she would have grown up to be. How she would have acted. I just don't know how to keep living with this sort of past.
Filed under:
Comments
said:
Speak to a counseler or even a priest (or other religious equivalent). Good luck and sorry to hear about your situation.
said:
Wow, thats a sad story. I was sort of in the same boat. I was 18 and my girlfriend at the time was 16. She got pregnant and we decided to give it up for adoption. Since then we have broke up and its been 7 years. I cant seem to find her or get in touch with her to even see how my daughter is doing, she kept close contact with the adoptive parents. Its eats away at me to know that my beautiful daughter is out there somewhere with them and I know nothing about it. I only hope one day that she will come looking for me!! And i hope that my wife will understand it all and be ok with it.
crikey said:
wow -- that's really a host of bad at a young age. i'd say that there are times when any human would need to talk to a counselor, and this is it. you've done the hard work already, believe it or not, but it's still a long time healing, too.
Jennuna said:
Aww that's terrible, I'll pray for you, you'll see your daughter when u die She'll be waiting for you and you can be with her for the rest of time
Jennuna said:
Live like she'd (your Daughter) want you to
ImNewHere85 said:
Yeah, I was 18 and she was 16... She was only a sophomore.
Thanks for the prayers. They realy do mean a lot.
And about counseling... I think that would probably help but it is just so hard to get myself to allow other people to help me. This whole situation really pushed me to be very self-relient. I guess that is something I need to fix too, huh?
Jennuna said:
you probly need to get comfortable with yourself and trust yourself. If anybody you need to trust in God and YOURSELF! those who are uncomfortable with themselves are the people that if left on an island alone, they would go mad and would be unable to adapt and prosper and would die quicker. I have a counselor but I tell her what I need help with. If it's to private I don't tell her. That way I get Advice and I can Relax and do what is right for myself.
Jennuna said:
Adapting to change is often difficult, and being self-relient you need to love yourself, get over what has happened(the past is the past) and think about right now and live in the moment. :)
Jennuna said:
God loves you and so does your Daughter:)
Jennuna said:
Everything will work out in the end. Don't worry
ImNewHere85 said:
Thanks a bunch. It's nice to have this a little more off my chest. And the support is much appreciated. Thanks!!
Jennuna said:
:D what im here for :D
Post new comment