I'm a 19 year old girl. I worked doing office work in a department store for about a year. My boss is 46 and married. It's weird but I always had a big crush on him. I wondered if he was interested in me. Sometimes I thought yes and sometimes no. It didn't seem to matter cuz I never thought anything would happen anyway. But before Christmas the whole store had a big party. It's a long story but me and him drank a lot and ended up in a store room. We had sex and it was awesome. The next day I felt really awful about it like I shouldn't have. When I went back to work he ignored me and then started being mean to me, really cold. I think I love and think about him all the time. But I'm really hurting. My girlfriend says to forget him cuz she says i could get any guy I wanted (I AM pretty cute lol) but all who I want is him. What can I do?
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Shy said:
Consider the fact that there is another woman in his life who feels the same way you do. Obviously it isn't easy on him either, asking a dude to choose between two women he loves is liking asking him which arm he would rather have cut off. I've been there myself, and regrettably, I am speaking from experience.
He's cold and mean because he's trying to be a stand up guy, he's trying to be faithful, and the only way he can do that is by pushing you away -and I think you already know that. Would there be anything you could love if he was willing to keep you on the side and maintain the appearance of a respectable marriage?
If you love him. . .Look for a new job. Don't complicate his life with the hopes of becoming a part of it and making it better. It won't be easy, and I wish I could be there to buy you a shot or something, but. . .love isn't selfish, this just is not the way. Nothing good can come of this.
If you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go so they can come back to you on their own. Let him know you are leaving, tell him why, leave your phone number and say goodbye.
crikey said:
agree with comment -- so, so much lief and CHANGES ahead for you -- live, learn, grow... thrive, but do NOT go there
maymay said:
My guess, he had sex with a young and pretty girl, it just happen to be at work. That sucks for him, he knew what he wanted to do, and probably wants to do it again, but your future with him is limited and he is not going to risk it all for a few good nights.
You think you love him, but you are just yearning for acceptance of an authority figure, it happens and you will grow out of it...
Date someone just a few years older 25-27 for you to get a better perspective on your life. Guys your age are immature.
good luck
Shy said:
i promise you
you do not love him
but
you do love what he represents to you
this isn't because you are young
it can happen at any age
at any age where there is a need to grow beyond where you currently are
when this happens
it is because one has put the "hero" suit on someone
and one believes that they hold an answer
an answer to happiness
but only you hold that
you might just have to suffer through this
i wouldn't pursue it
but i would try to identify what the thought of him does for you
what part of your life you think he might complete
and try to complete that for yourself
then,
when the right person comes along
you might recognize him
for who he is
not what you think you need him to be
courage
it's not a great place to be in the moment
but if you learn from it
you never have to be in exactly the same place again
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