I want other men.
I have been with my current boy for over four years, and he wants to propose when he has a ring, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. I will never be unfaithful again (once four years ago), and I am entirely devoted to him.
But...
I DO like other men! Sometimes I wonder what would happen if some of them came onto me, and I don't know what I'd do. Of course, my immediate thought is that I'd smile and remind them that I'm taken, but I can never be sure...
The worst one is my best male friend besides my lover.
He's a wonderful guy. A bit of a pain in the ass sometimes, but funny, considerate of my feelings, and we talk about almost everything. He's also my lover's best friend, and this is the same situation that the only time I cheated was last time...
Of course, now I know what to avoid, and there's really no chance of the same circumstances, but... always on my mind are 'what if?'s.
I have tried telling someone, but I don't know how... I have hinted at my feelings to various people, but everyone believes in my fidelity more than I do....
Am I really strong enough? If I was, wouldn't I be able to quell these feelings?
More to add to the problem: he has a girlfriend I hooked him up with. There's other guys I'm friends with that I also feel attracted to...
What do I do??!?!!
I have no intention of leaving my lover.. he's so important to me...But I'm scared of myself. What if I can't be everything I expect of myself?
...WHy is it that I hope that one of these friends will come on to me? Is it because I want them? Is it because of my low self-esteem and wanting to know that I'm attractive?
Bah! I'm such an idiot... but it's true.
I'm so confused...
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an0n said:
I don't think you're confused, I think you're conflicted. The ginormous difference is, when you're confused, it's because something doesn't make sense to you, but when you're conflicted, it's because you fully understand the situation, but are pulled in two different directions. In this situation you know what you WANT, and you know what is the RIGHT THING TO DO. The answer to your dilemma is simple and obvious, but you don't WANT to accept it. The solution: Self-control. Is it the answer you want? No. Is it the right answer for the situation you are in? Yes. If you don't like the answer, then you should really end the situation so that you can continue a life filled with options (which is what you want) instead of a commitment (which is what you are currently in). Responsibility can be a real bitch, but if you really love the guy you're with like you say you do, then you need to suck it up. Unless of course he's into open relationships...
vikinglee said:
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Shayel said:
Thank you... you;re very smart. :)
Yes, self-control has always been a big issue with me... no matter the situation, whether it be homework, food, relationships, ANYTHING. I am very bad at controlling myself. But... it's been a growing process...
I am learning to grow up... so I guess this is just another part of it... Yes, I wonder what it would be like with other people... but I won't hurt my love again...
Again, Thank you an0n...
<3
mimi said:
I know what you mean... I've been with my guy for about 2 years, and I love him so much... but sometimes I wonder what else is out there. an0n, I really like what you have to say.
cybil said:
when you know the difference between curious and "want", then you'll know. if you still want... hold off, imo
shy and cluless said:
If I'm with a guy which doesn't happen very often I think of no1 but him... But sumtimes I wander what if
Shy said:
That's okay...there is nothing wrong with wandering. It's only when you decide to act on your feelings or emotions that create problems. If I am with my girl out having dinner, I'll look at her and think damn what a cutie but, when a female with an equal or higher attractiveness enters the area, I'm also thinking damn I'd like to see what she's working with. The mind can be funny sometimes. However, I still love my lady because I already know what she has to offer over a complete stranger who by the way might be lousy in bed, infected with an STD, have poor hygiene...I think it is always best to just let our minds wander sometimes and concentrate on our loved ones...LOL
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