depression
there is a better life out there, one that ive only tasted. where i can be happy despite all my failures and imperfections. i've been considering suicide for nearly 3 years now. the best of my life seems to be in memories, and it seems to be to late to renew anything i once had. i haven't seen some of my friends for almost a year because of college and other commitments. continue reading »
i'm in a really sad, lonely place, and want to stay that way -- i don't call people back, i don't see friends (except scheduling myself for meals -- and gain weight and lose friends.... have lots of stuff to work out. is it ok, to turn off the lights for halloween and pretend, or should i go to the movies?
i think i lost her, and it was the chance after the last chance. my fault, and now... totally did a 180, changed my life, and finding myself again... and i realize i am truly the person she'd want, if i'd been that person over the last few years. found myself, and looking back, i was a huge trainwreck. crap.
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