so my boyfriend and i are in a long-distance relationship. we've liked each other a year, but we've been dating for 8 months. of the year that we've liked each other we've only attempted sex 4 times.
the first time, i started crying because i had another boyfriend and i felt guilty. my crying totally ruined the mood, and my boyfriend lost his "hardness." We tried to get it back (oral, etc.) and it wouldn't come back. The second time we did it, but it only lasted like 30 seconds before he finished because it was his first real time doing it with someone (we're kind of young....late teens/early twenties). The third time lasted a little longer. I think the running time was 3 minutes. But the fourth time we got all in the mood and he was totally turned on, then all of the sudden he LOST it.
THEN he expected me to finish him off. And i was like, look, this isn't fair. I'm not getting any and then you expect me to finish you. I got kind of mad and then he started crying (he's not a baby. it takes a lot to make him cry). He said he felt bad because he wants to have sex with me, and he doesn't know what his problem is. He thinks that it's because he puts too much pressure on himself to make it good because when we met I wasn't a virgin and he was. He also says that he gets nervous because he doesn't want to get caught by my parents (most of the time it's at my house and we would be dead), and when he's nervous and putting pressure on himself he gets turned off.
He tells me it will be better when i get to college next year and he doesn't have anything to worry about anymore. But it's irritating. Sometimes it makes me feel like i don't turn him on or something (which is another reason he was crying...he felt bad about that because it "isn't true"). I don't know. I mean, is this normal? How could a 20 year old guy have problems staying hard? i don't get it..... :(
Comments
crikey said:
well, could be stage fright -- if he's really that inexperienced, makes some sense... he needs to learn with you?
Roxy said:
help him relax... reassure him that no one is great at it the first few times! practice makes perfect, and you're not judging him. maybe you could try doing it somewhere other than your house?
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