Me and my ex have been separated for 5 years now, we both married and still talked to eachother every 1-2 yrs or so, turns out he got a divorce, i am still married. I love my husband so much, its just I dream of my ex almost all the time and want to talk to him just don't want to end up talking to him and leaving my husband for him, what if I fall in love all over again actually i know I will. But my feelings for my husband are strong as well, he is good to me. I would say I feel the same for both of them if that is possible at all, today I called my ex listend to him say hello then hung up. What to do what to do?
Comments
bigfan said:
simple -- if you can 100% say, without any doubt, that you would leave your husband forever, and everything that goes with it... don't pick up the phone. just my take, but i'm old-school and faithful like a watch. maybe others have better ideas
Shy said:
I think its time you take a call. Either one. I would say stick with your husband, but thats just me.
Shy said:
I am in the same situation. Me and my ex broke up over 6 years ago. We actually had a pretty good relationship, but I was the one who pushed him away so I could fulfill my educational and career goals. We both went our separate ways and got married. My husband and I have no children and it is a issue that we deal with everyday. We argue constantly and I feel at times that there is no future for us. I love him, but I am not in love with him. My ex is going through a divorce and we have been talking by phone everyday for the last two weeks. Talking to him has brought back so many memories - good memories, not bad. He has grown up so much over the the last 6 years and yet talking to him makes me feel like we never stopped talking. We can sit on the phone for hours and when I'm with my husband face to face we have nothing to say to one another. I'm scared to leave my husband because of fear that I would make the wrong decision but then maybe staying with him is the wrong decision. I am not sure what to do. I always hear people say to follow your heart - but what do you do when your heart and leading in two different directions at once?
Shy said:
Shy said:
i feel i am forzen in time i also want to move with my life want to come back to my husband i had afair can't still move on from that the i had affair does not even care about me for him it was for fun
Shy said:
Im in your same situation. I have been married for ten years. I have a daughter that is six. I have keep in touch with my ex-boyfriend for fifteen years. I feel that my husband and I have grown apart. Or maybe I have pushed him away. I do love him but not sure if im in love with him. I also scared to leave because I scared im making the wrong decision. My ex-boy friend want me to leave my husband and have a life with him. I dont want to see my family hurt.
Shy said:
wow what can i say just that i think u should think about more of that child then leaving one man for another i try it it doesn t work take it from me leave whit ur child if its bad yes its herd but am single, i work and also froter and live whit mys kids no man am happy maybe it won t work for u all am trying to say is try on ur own before before uhook up whit another
Shy said:
What did you do? I broke up with my first love in high school. However, we always remained friends and hung out every once in a while. Then I went to college and started dating my current boyfriend. It has been almost 7 years with my current boyfriend. Marriage has been talked about and now I am starting to freak out. I love him, but I just don't know if I am in love with him. I still think about my x all the time. We had a really strong connection and I think we just met too early in life. We both had a lot of growing up to do at the time. I saw him recently when we both had too much to drink. He said he would do anything to get me back. Ever since then, I cant stop thinking about what if I am making a mistake staying with my boyfriend for this long, or am I making a mistake thinking about leaving him. I don't want to hurt him at all either. SO CONFUSED!
Shy said:
Don't leave him... Just tell him you have a lot going on right now... and need some space, if he loves you, he should understand... go out a couple of times with your ex and see if its still there.... Don't burn the bridge with your current just yet. You love them both, you just have to see which one is the right one. It will mean more in the long run... I married the wrong one and regret it every day.
Shy said:
Kill him hide the body in the river
Shy said:
The single biggest problem women have, I've noticed, is that they are incapable of living outside of a relationship. Women, leave your husbands if you are not happy, learn to go to a movie, learn to live by yourself, with yourself. Only then will you be able to choose who you really want to give your valuable time to. But until you learn to value your time, you'll be peddling it to the lowest bidder forever. What the hell is wrong with being alone?
Shy said:
Back off from your ex. Trust me it would save you a lot of heartache as well as headache. I was in the same boat once. My ex-boyfriend and I parted ways. 10 years later we found each other again. We emailed each other almost everyday and finally had lunch together. It brought back so many memories. We are both married. Neither one of us would want to leave our spouses. I ended up breaking the relationship because it would hurt a lot people if we do decide to continue seeing each other and I would end up as a homewrecker.
If you love your husband so much, you would stay away from your ex and commit to the vows you made. How would you feel if it was the other way around - meaning if it was your husband having this dilema?
Back off is the best solution. IMHO.
Shy said:
Great response.txs
Shy said:
As they say, when you have started loving someone, you will continue to love him forever. It's just the intensity that's making a difference. What I suggest like the others did, is try to think with a clear mind not only thinking of yourself but your kids and husband too. True happiness does not dwell on our own happiness only but also in peace that we are not hurting others.
http://www.rebuildyourrelationship.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back.html
Shy said:
I am Happily married for almost 5 years now. I have a 7 year old with my ex-husband and i have a 5 year old with this husband. I used to date a good friend of my husbands like 10 years ago. My husbad and his friend have gotten close again and i find myself sitting back and thinking about him and all the What ifs?. I love my life now and do not want to change it but we flirt back and forth and he calls when he knows my husband is not home. I am confused what do i do? Any help.
Shy said:
will it is going on the exact same thing with me i have a boyfriend and i really like him but i cant stop thinking of my ex.i have been dreaming about him and thinking of him.my ex lives really far away and i can only see him in the summer so i just decided to stay with my boyfriend and in the summer break up with him but you are married already i think you should tell your husband u have been thinking of your ex but tell him you still love him and you will try to forget about him
Shy said:
I STILL HAVE LOVE FOR MY EX BUT I DONT THINK THAT IT WILL EVER BE BECAUSE I KNOW HIS WAYS AND I DONT WANT WAT HE HAS TO OFFER ME IN LIFE AND ALSO HE GOT SOME GURL PREGNANT BUT I NO THAT HE STILL LOVES ME AND I LOVE HIM WAT DO I DO HOW CAN I GET OVER HIM SOMEONE HELP ME I BEEN HAVING THESE WIERD DREAMS ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME I DONT NO IF IM OBBSESSED OR IN LOVE BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT I NEED HIM IN MY LIFE REGAUDLESS I HAVE NOT WENT OUT WITH ANYBODY IN A WHOLE YEAR AND IM STILL VERY SAD BECAUSE OF THE BREAK UP BUT I DONT NO WHAT TO DO AND IVE WENT OUT WITH GUYS THAT ARE INTRESTED IN ME AND SOME HOW I FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER LOVE ANYONE THE SAME AS I LOVED MY EX PLZ SOME ONE HELP ME !
Shy said:
What is wrong with being single. Nothing. It's actually kinda nice but I am on here reading on how to rid myself of thoughts of my ex. So, I guess being single reminds you of the relationships you have had and the ones you may have thought you had but in reality, they were not as they seemed. For whatever the reason, it ended and now you end up wondering What If? And on top of all that now we have these Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and whatever else to remind us daily of what we may be missing out on. I can personally say that the day I quit lookin on his damn page will have to be a sign of movin' on. I mean, really, what in the world makes me think I will feel better by spying on his page. If anything, it puts me in a fowl mood. I don't even ever see myself with this guy anymore and I don't even like most things about his personality but something, something about what we had has kept me in it's grasp and I just wanted to vent after reading all these other posts. thanks
Shy said:
Shy said:
Shy said:
you need to tell your husband
Shy said:
I have the same problem me and my ex broke up 2 years ago. He started seeing another girl which I was very hurt by the situation.
a friend introduce me to a guy which I am now dating. I really do like him he treats me really good but I still have feelings for my ex the sex is great with both my ex is always calling me we went out together about two weeks ago it was incrediable I am not married so I spent two days with my ex. It brought back so many memories But I dont know if I want to go back to him so many things happened in our relationship. Whenever I dont hear from my ex I get really sad. I really have feelings for both of them but I feel my ex knows me better he knows what I like my ex is tall I can wear high heels whenever we go out but the guy I am dating he's about the same height I am with flats on but when I wear heels with him he acts like he is ashame to be seen with me but the funny thing is he always tells me I am beautiful. I really do have strong feelings
for both of them but more with my ex my heart is saying be with my ex but my mind is saying stay with the guy I am seeing. Please tell me what to do I AM SO CONFUSED!
Shy said:
It is a relief to know there are others in same situation. It makes me feel I am not crazy or psycho, and that I can live with this. I was with my ex for 4 years before we split. It has been 5 years since we spoke. We did not leave on good terms. We both left hurt and I am convinced he has bad feelings towards me. But I will never know. He and I both married within a year of breaking up. It torments me wondering if he regrets marrying so quickly. Does he have constant dreams about me too? Does he think of me at random times? Does he hate me? Does he love his wife more than he ever loved me? It has been 5 years. WHY am I still haunted by feelings for my ex? He was a TERRIBLE boyfriend. I left him because we did not get along most of the time. But there was an INTENSE connection between us at the same time. One of those loves where there were "fireworks". I am married to a great man who treats me better and I get along with better than I ever did with my ex. Sadly, I will never have that intense love for my husband that I do my ex. I miss that feeling. It makes me fantasize of seeing my ex just "one more time" just to feel that chemistry again. I make myself crazy wondering if he feels the same. I will never contact him. I cannot see him or hear about his life - it still hurts like it ended yesterday. I will never tell him how I feel. He might think I am insane! He is married - probably happily - and I know he has multiple children with her. I just want the desire and love I feel to GO AWAY so I can be happy too.
Shy said:
Like you said, I am SO happy there are people going through similar things. I'm not married yet but I have the same feelings about someone who didn't treat me nearly as good as the man I am with now. I know in my heart I am supposed to be with the man I am with. But I feel so guilty thinking of "what might have been". At least I know I'm not a lunatic.
Shy said:
How did most of you end up back in contact with ex's? I don't get why you would want your ex in your life when you are now with a new partner. Especially when you know you want to date your ex again. Well leave the current partner then. You can't play mind games just cos you love your ex AND the partner. Spare your partner the heartache and get back with the ex. As long as the ex's family and friends are happy about it. Remember that the people in your ex's life will remember what lead to the break up, how you broke up, and what was said during the break up. Just be aware of that.
Shy said:
As for me, I've learned to forget the feelings i had before to my EX-MU/Love. I'm sure it does bec. i was able to wrote him an email when he was deployed in Iraq of coarse with my bestfriend's permission.Its a nice feeling that finally i was able to conversed with him a few issue.And we still care for each others safety and wished good things for both of our families.I'm happy with it.Certainly, no intentions to be with him or to do any wrong that would hurt our loveones feelings.I beleive that people we met in our ex-life has a purpose. May be to teach us about the value of loving a person. Or maybe how to fell in love- a super nice feeling.=P I just hope his wife would be understanding enough..
Shy said:
Wow I am speechless reading everyone’s experience. I thought I was crazy to have feeling for my ex boyfriend. I even had a dream his brother calling whilst he was sitting the back round waiting to talk to me. Is the Brothers a peace maker???
My ex and i broke up almost 2 years. Just when we were planning to get married our families made our life’s difficult which resulted break down. Soon after he got married and he now has a kid.
Last couple nine month he has been contacting me. He not happy in his relationship, it really upsets me because he rushed to get married. He regrets its obvious in his conversation. I feel hurt by the situation, in his life there is a child and wife. I won’t dare to break them a part. I always remind his family then there is no sign of him a month. Hear he comes again he wants to talk to me. We live an hour a part, since we broke up i set a ground rule that i never face him as much as my heart is bleeding for. He is married now no matter how much he expresses himself, i do not feel is right for him to know how i feel about him although i am single. The thought of me thinking of him reminds me our special times. I asked him not to call me as it is wrong of our great feelings we have for each other. Its hard, is this feeling gonna go away? He say s “there is not a day that i do not think of you”. I do not really believe that. Why are you really married then??
Its complicated. HELP
Shy said:
i thought i was reading my life story... exact same situation
Shy said:
LOL...it's been almost 6 years since mine and my ex's split. The really difficult part is the fact we have a son together so we have to speak to each other regularly. I met him when I was 22; he was 6 months into separation from his (now) ex-wife. I was too young and he was too wounded.
He was the first guy I ever dated who absolutely took my breath away everytime I'd see him and the butterflies never went away-even after 2.5 years. The chemistry was intense and our conversations could go on for hours. I guess the timing wasn't right.
Fastforward to today: He's 4 years into a relationship with another woman with whom he has a little girl; and I'm getting married in the fall. My soon-to-be husband absolutely adores me and loves me without fault. but those feelings of depth and intensity are not there. I miss feeling the way I did with my son's dad. I hope that kind of intensity and attraction can grow; I can't imaging going through the rest of my life feeling lukewarm all the time.
Shy said:
this might sound strange, but it was like a fairy tale relationship where the guy and girl are so in love that nothing else matters. When my husband started to cheat on me, it really caused me to step back and took me by shock. I really didn't know what to think. I never thought of her as one to cheat and I never questioned it. I knew we had a love that would outlast all other loves and a trust that couldn't be broken. but everything got me so confused, i almost gave up to death but so fortunate for i was directed to priestoflovespell as the call him, he made me and my husband to come back together with his spell. for about one month now we have been so tight and strong I started noticing great changes in my husband. Without reason or rhyme good things just started happening to our marriage.
if you need a help from this man here is his email address priestoflovespell@yahoo.com.
Shy said:
Reading all of these remind me of my situation. I broke up with my boyfriend of five years over a flimsy reason. On the rebound I got married within a month to someone I am not in love with. I am totally in love with my ex and the feeling is mutual. My marriage is just four months old but I'm thinking of ending Otto be with my ex. We both want to be together and raise our children. There's a 15year gap btw my husband and I and we don't have anything in common. My ex and I have q fantastic connection and I miss the spark.
Shy said:
Shy said:
I also have a problem somewhat like that except im not married but i live with my current boyfriend and my ex well we have been split for about 3 years now and he also has my 2 year old daughter i really do luv my boyfriend but he is all for himself and talks to me like im crap in a way i wanna go to be with my family but i dont want to hurt him what to do
Shy said:
Shy said:
Im glad to that there are other women in similar situation.....My life is just killing me.....I divorced my husband bcs I thought he was not giving me enough attention, would not go to church with me, would like to have a drink or couple on the weekend and so on.....I met a guy that seemed perfect......Wow my worst nightmare....a con man.....left me practicly on the street ( I moved with him to another country)far away from my family and friends.....I simply came home one day and he was gone...now I met another man and he is a very nice man and all but I miss my ex husband....we talk every day ( he lives in another country) so to be with him I have to move back and I really want to....I miss him and my life so much that I have deep depression, it is affecting my health etc....but I m not sure what to do....I sort of love both men......Im sooooo thorn apart......I cant' sleep can't work can't function....but I need to make a decision soon....but I don't know how much will I regret and miss leaving my current boyfriend of over 3 years......
Shy said:
when I was 15 I met my first love, he was my dream man. He was the most romantic person I have ever met. we were together for ten months. Another boy kissed me and I told him I had a boyfriend...no thanks. My boyfriend heard about it from my best friend and he was angry. A few weeks later, my best friend calls me and tells me she slept with my boyfriend. I call him and he breaks up with ME! I cry and cry and cry. 6 months later I am with another person but cannot get him out of my head. I dream about him every night. Then onto 1 year, 2 years, 3 years the same thing. When I was 18 he emailed me. He said he was sorry about everything (we lived 6 hours apart at the time) and he would like to have another chance. I was supposed to go back to him after basic training, to even be friends. but i started dating my now husband and out of fear I stopped calling my ex. Then I got PREGNANT and I married my husband at 19 not really sure if I 100% wanted it. A year later I find my ex on myspace and we have been talking since. I am now 25. We talk about the past....he knows I have kids and I do not want to take our discussions to far or hurt my family. But I literally have been dreaming of him EVERY NIGHT since we broke up. That is 9 YEARS! I hurt when I see his pictures, I am jealous of the girl he is with. I would never leave my husband for him but i really hurt inside everyday and I cant figure out how to get him out of my thoughts. I still love him.
Shy said:
Most of you women sound like whores. I hope your husbands find out how you really feel and dump every one of you.
Liars
Shy said:
^^^ what a stupid bitch. Get your head out of your ass
Shy said:
Life is too short to think about all this. I think one should follow his or her heart and of course it is one's ultimate right to be happy. Follow your heart and be the happiest
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cathy said:
I kinda' miss my ex too, but I wouldn't hurt the guy I'm with now.
Shy said:
Shy said:
So I. Have been married only two years have a one yr old and just recently got in touch with my first love he has asked me to leave my husband and marry him my husband is controlling, aggressive, and ego maniac I guess you could say well my ex isnt and he says he will accept me with my child I just feel like I owe my husband a lot for all these years he had worked hard to provide food rent and bills payed but should I just stay with him because I feel gratitude or leave him and move in with my ex I am very confused I cry.about this all the time I need some advice also I feel if I leave my husband I eill be leyting down my family because they love him also im 22....
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