Vents - Rant and Rave
sometimes i secretly think of just grabbing my husband and slinging him around. But i refrain, knowing i would never do anything more than playfully slap him. He has a problem with control. I hate it so bad, but i love him. He want me to be his "type" of perfection. but i am who i am, i will forever be that. so i dont understand why its so hard for him to see that i am aho i am.
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when i smile, i think im fooling the other person. when i'm really happy, or with friends, it feels totally different. not even sure if i smile, but the fake smile feels heavy, heavy, heavy. why do we do that?
I desperately want a career change but have no idea how I can do that without going back to school, which I don't want to do, I'm 30 years old and can't really afford to step back into an entry level position, I am only in a Jr. level type position now.
My roommate stresses me out so much that I am actually losing significant amounts of hair. I am moving out at the end of the semester because I am so tired of hearing about her problems 20 times a day. The ironic thing: I am studying to be a psychologist. I guess it's different though when you actually have to live with the person.
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theres guys out there who just want you for one thing, and theres guys out there who dont want anything. ether way there guys. theres this guy , whos i dont know hes sweet, smart, cute amazing eyes i must say, but nothing. nothing will happen? ive waited paitently .. adn ive told n asked him what i should do about my feelings thowards him ? he answers me with an " i dont know" god i hate that.
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oh, my -- i walked from my car to lunch and walked by a jack in the box. there was, i swear, a guy in his car eating drive through getting, um... extra service from his girl. hard to believe she would submit herself to that in public, much less while he was eating. but... lucky guy! wow. thought i'd never see something like that in mid-day.
I love him. I hate emotions. I love him. I get so mad at him. I love him. He doesn't know. I love him. He hurts and insults me, and when he finds out, he sweetly and honestly apologizes. I love him. Not telling or showing him is torture. I love him. He seems surprised when I show I'm smart and funny, or at least witty, and that hurts. I love him, but I have too much baggage to even try.
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why is it that stuiped things hold me up I am a person knowing what i want and can get why get in my way
i wish i could go back 30 years and start over from the time i was a teenager -- so many mistakes, so much time... now i'm just sad and mad at myself
itried to commit suici;de and this is my first time telling al ot of people because i hate talking about it